The Other Side of the Glass

Part One was officially released June 2013 in digital distribution format. To purchase to to If you were a donor and want to download your copy send an email to

The trailer

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

In the body everything has it's place and function - by perfect design

In less than two weeks most of you will be opening lots of gifts from friends and loved ones. Some of those things will come packed neatly and perfectly by a factory conveyer belt system and most will come with cardboard and styrofoam to support the object.

Some of these things you will decide you don't want, it doesn't work right, you want a different color. For whatever reason, you will attempt to put it back in the box to take it back to the store. We've all done this and never are we able to put the object back in it's orginal condition with all of it's specific packing support in the right place. EVEN when I take a lot of time to try to get it to look nice, the box bulges, the top won't close, the thing never looks nice and perfect through the plastic window.

After Christmas, or next time you have the opportunity try it, think about this. I want you to imagine the object is a uterus removed from the woman's body after the baby is removed. I do a trauma healing modality that includes CranioSacral Therapy and somatic/emotional release and healing. Not only with women who have experienced cesarean section, but I have worked with post-surgical patients with abdominal surgeries as well. One woman had a cyst on the anterior (inside) side of her kidney. This meant going through her abdomen to remove it. Her bowels were lifted out and moved to the other side to access the cyst.

When I work with these women to heal the physical aspects of their surgery (whatever it was) it is always about allowing the processing of the emotions around the surgery. Fear, grief, invasion, "my body is dysfunctional". The body tissues hold the memory whether one is sedated or not. Our body is now known to be the emotional part of our selves, where emotions are stored, in particular, in the organs. When a surgeon does anything to an organ (or any part) of another's body, that organ experiences, remembers, and feels it. A woman's uterus is a big part of her womanhood Self. Whether she has bore children or not, her uterus is strongly connected to her heart. Every day, but more so in birth and after, a woman creates and lives life through her feminine heart and uterus. Her connection with her baby during pregnancy is extraordinally powerfully with her heart and her uterus, and this never ends.

Who in the medical field is looking at the long term consequences to the physical and emotional lives of women who give birth by cesarean? Is there a higher rate of heart attacks? Bowel obstructions in later years due to scare tissue? Hormonal differences between women who give birth vaginally or by cesarean? Where is the damn research to show it is "safe" for her lifetime?

What ALWAYS happens when I am working with post-surgerical patient, csection or otherwise, is that the body feels like it never got put back the way it was, the way it was done perfectly when it was built. I know from my obstetric spouse the thrill of watching the best surgeon get the csection done in twelve minutes. I have watched surgeons since. There is no time to go slowly, because the need is for this woman's insides to not be exposed to air and germs. The organs, a woman's uterus or the other woman's bowels are quickly moved back into the body cavity. No care is taken to make sure it is as perfect as possible, like when I try to repack a box to take to returns. They are concerned about getting it in the box, not about whether it is in the very same untouched position. And, what I know, is that it is impossible.

What I know is that for the woman with kidney surgery whose bowels constantly felt terrible from then on, her entire organ system was affected in the following seven years. Many ailments began to happen after that. Heart, digestion, elimination -- all had a drug to cover the symptoms. It was not until she had the integrated body work and the opportunity to process the emotions before surgery, during surgery, and post-surgery (HELD IN THE BODY) and for the deep human touch that supported her bowels to reorganize,** that her body started to work normally. As normally as possible for a seventy-seven year old woman, seven years post-surgery.

** Physicians will gauf at this only because they don't know it, weren't taught it, and therefore fear it and consequently banish it.

The same compelling reason for the medical establishment to continue what they are doing to women in birth with surgery (it supports the future needs of the industry with patients) is the very reason to stop the unnecessary use of drugs and interventions known to lead to csection and to stop the planned, medically unnecessary cesarean births.

Yes, some interventions and surgeries are necessary. A surgeon can become more compassionate about this -- the total affect to the whole woman, including her psyche. She or he can be AWARE of the need of the body to come back to it's original, optimal condition. Surgery done consciously, knowing the total impact, can mediate a lot. PROTOCOLS can be established where every woman who has a cesarean birth is also afforded the appropriate after-care, such as the integrated body-mind work that I do. Unfortunately, at this time, medicine pooh-poohs us and denies the science to support the decades old antecdotal stories.

For women reading who have had cesearan surgery, I know this will activate you. The woundss -- buttons- -- are always right there. Please know this is meant to let you know the good news that there is hope and there are modalities out there to support your healing. Your disapointment, fear, shame, guilt, angry is all valid and recognized, and I leave you with the truth that there is hope for healing it.

Some people never do try to put the object back in the same condition, I know. The lid is hanging open, the cord sticking out, cardboard support is missing, the object just stuffed in the box. My ex, the obstetrician, was one of those. Who has time for that?


Niamh said...

H, When I was on the operating table being "put back together" after my last unnecessary c-section, a nurse came into the OR and said "Whew! You did a number on THAT one!" The response to that was giggling. I had no idea what she meant and no one would answer me when I tried to ask. My voice was weak and scratchy but it was perfectly audible yet I was totally ingored.

Perhaps my insides were a bit more in disarray than usual??? Was my uterus was in ribbons?? Afterwards, no one at the hosptial would ever even acknowledge this was said much less help me to come to terms with and understand it.

Now, realistically, I know that they couldn't have left me in tatters, but I still have a sick worried feeling whenever I think of it. And now being pregnant, I worry what effect their careless treatment of me will have on this birth.

I cannot find a caregiver in my area that offers any of the things you describe for healing. All I can do is rant on the internet! At least here I'm heard!


Safe Baby Partners said...

niahm --

I am sorry about your experience in the OR -- I do hear you. This is exactly the sort of thing you can work on with someone who does body work, like massage or cranial. You can check and go to "find a practitioner" in your area. Check for someone who has done visceral manipulation, and SomatoEmotional release and pediatrics. is similar to CranioSacral. Both work with the fascia that is cut and stitched during surgery. There are many body-mind modalites for healing -- Peter Levine's trauma healing
The birth trauma healing incorporates Levine's work. Most massag therapists have taken some coursework is some of these or others. Hakomi at is also a very good one. If there is a massage school in your area they might be able to guide you to someone.

feel free to email me privately -- i'll research your area to help you find someone.
janel underscore miranda at yahoo dot com

Lucy said...


I lurk the other board and don't know why. :) Except I love to hear intellegent comments from others. It goes on deaf ears as far as Amy is concerned, why do we call her dr. when she isn't one anymore? Anyway, as I was saying the rest of us are listening. I respect and acknowledge your feelings of fear and what happened to you. Your story and many like yours is why there is a backlash against the medical community. As your story shows, there was no compassion by your "caregivers". In fact, they would hide the facts in order to save their own skins. On the other blog she posted about moral responsibility. Where is was that for your situation? We all have a right to vent when something makes us have feelings.

"Soft is the heart of a child. Do not harden it."

A public awareness reminder that things that happen behind the scenes, out of our sight, aren't always as rosy as we might think them to be. Perhaps its a restaurant cook who accidentally drops your burger on the floor before placing it on the bun and serving it to you. Here it's an overworked apathetic (pathetic) nurse giving my newborn daughter her first bath. Please comment and rate this video, so as to insure that it is viewed as widely as possible, perhaps to prevent other such abuse. -- The mother who posted this YouTube. How NOT to wash a baby on YouTube Are you going to try to tell me that "babies don't remember?" There is no difference to this baby's experience and the imprinting of her nervous system/brain and one that is held and cleaned by the mother or father either at the hospital or at home? By the way, this is probably NOT the baby's first bath. The nurse is ungloved. Medical staff protocol is that they can't handle a baby ungloved until is has been bathed (scrubbed if you've seen it) because the baby is a BIO-HAZARD -- for them. Never mind that the bio-hazard IS the baby's first line of defense against hospital germs.

Missouri Senator Louden Speaks

Finally, A Birth Film for Fathers

Part One of the "The Other Side of the Glass: Finally, A Birth Film for and about Men" was released June, 2013.

Through presentation of the current research and stories of fathers, the routine use of interventions are questioned. How we protect and support the physiological need of the human newborn attachment sequence is the foundation for creating safe birth wherever birth happens.

Based on knowing that babies are sentient beings and the experience of birth is remembered in the body, mind, and soul, fathers are asked to research for themselves what is best for their partner and baby and to prepare to protect their baby.

The film is designed for midwives, doulas, and couples, particularly fathers to work with their caregivers. Doctors and nurses in the medical environment are asked to "be kind" to the laboring, birthing baby, and newborn. They are called to be accountable for doing what science has been so clear about for decades. The mother-baby relationship is core for life. Doctors and nurses and hospital caregivers and administrators are asked to create protocols that protect the mother-baby relationship.

Men are asked to join together to address the vagaries of the medical system that harm their partner, baby and self in the process of the most defining moments of their lives. Men are asked to begin to challenge the system BEFORE they even conceive babies as there is no way to be assured of being able to protect his loved ones once they are in the medical machine, the war zone, on the conveyor belt -- some of the ways that men describe their journey into fatherhood in the medicine culture.

Donors can email to get a digital copy.
Buy the film at

The film focuses on the male baby, his journey from the womb to the world and reveals healing and integrating the mother, father, and baby's wounded birth experience. The film is about the restoring of our families, society, and world through birthing loved, protected, and nurtured males (and females, of course). It's about empowering males to support the females to birth humanity safely, lovingly, and consciously.

Finally, a birth film for fathers.

What People Are Saying About the FIlm

Well, I finally had a chance to check out the trailer and .. wow! It's nice that they're acknowledging the father has more than just cursory rights (of course mom's rights are rarely acknowledged either) and it's great that they're bringing out the impact of the experience on the newborn, but I'm really impressed that they're not shying away from the political side.

They are rightly calling what happens in every American maternity unit, every day, by its rightful name - abuse. Abuse of the newborn, abuse of the parents and their rights, abuse of the supposedly sacrosanct ethical principal of patient autonomy and the medico-legal doctrine of informed consent, which has been long ago discarded in all but name. I love it!

In the immortal words of the "shrub", "bring it on!" This film needs to be shown and if I can help facilitate or promote it, let me know.

Father in Asheville, NC

OMG'ess, I just saw the trailer and am in tears. This is so needed. I watch over and over and over as fathers get swallowed in the fear of hospitals birth practice. I need a tool like this to help fathers see how very vital it is for them to protect their partner and baby. I am torn apart every time I see a father stand back and chew his knuckle while his wife is essentially assaulted or his baby is left to lie there screaming.
Please send me more info!!!!
Carrie Hankins
CD(DONA), CCCE, Aspiring Midwife

Thanks for sharing this. It was very touching to me. I thought of my brother-in-law standing on the other side of the glass when my sister had to have a C-section with her first child because the doctor was missing his golf date. I'll never forget his pacing back and forth and my realizing that he was already a father, even though he hadn't been allowed to be with his son yet.

Margaret, Columbia, MO

In case you don't find me here

Soon, I'll be back to heavy-duty editing and it will be quiet here again. I keep thinking this blog is winding down, and then it revives. It is so important to me.

I wish I'd kept a blog of my journey with this film this past 10 months. It's been amazing.

I have a new blog address for the film, and will keep a journal of simple reporting of the journey for the rest of the film.

I'll be heading east this week to meet with a group of men. I plan to post pictures and clips on the film blog.

I'll keep up here when I can -- when I learn something juicy, outrageous, or inspiring related to making birth safer for the birthing baby.

Review of the film

Most of us were born surrounded by people who had no clue about how aware and feeling we were. This trailer triggers a lot of emotions for people if they have not considered the baby's needs and were not considered as a baby. Most of us born in the US were not. The final film will include detailed and profound information about the science-based, cutting-edge therapies for healing birth trauma.

The full film will have the interviews of a wider spectrum of professionals and fathers, and will include a third birth, at home, where the caregivers do a necessary intervention, suctioning, while being conscious of the baby.

The final version will feature OBs, RNs, CNMs, LM, CPM, Doulas, childbirth educators, pre and perinatal psychologists and trauma healing therapists, physiologists, neurologists, speech therapists and lots and lots of fathers -- will hopefully be done in early 2009.

The final version will include the science needed to advocated for delayed cord clamping, and the science that shows when a baby needs to be suctioned and addresses other interventions. Experts in conscious parenting will teach how to be present with a sentient newborn in a conscious, gentle way -- especially when administering life-saving techniques.

The goal is to keep the baby in the mother's arms so that the baby gets all of his or her placental blood and to avoid unnecessary, violating, and abusive touch and interactions. When we do that, whether at home or hospital, with doctor or midwife, the birth is safe for the father. The "trick" for birthing men and women is how to make it happen in the hospital.

Birth Trauma Healing

Ani DeFranco Speaks About Her Homebirth

"Self-Evident" by Ani DeFranco

Patrick Houser at

Colin speaks out about interventions at birth