The Other Side of the Glass

Part One was officially released June 2013 in digital distribution format. To purchase to to If you were a donor and want to download your copy send an email to

The trailer

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Anyone Know?

By Mariah

This is your essay test:

1. What are the pros and cons for the US to have a SYSTEM of respectful partnerships between OBs, FPs, CNMs, and CPMs (to give adequate, necessary care that allow women to choose and be responsible?)

2. Who is responsible for the outcome of the outcome of ten months -- other than the mother?

2a. How does gestation and mother's life impact the labor and birth and who is truly "responsible" for the "outcome?"

3. To what degree and how is the medical or midwife caregiver legally responsible for the mother's choices, birth experience, and outcome?

4. How can obstetricians in the US decrease maternal and infant mortality? If you don't have an answer and are fine with the current situation of the maternal and fetal mortality, that will tell us a lot.


stockingup99 said...

1) The Pros of a respectful partnership are Mother centered care with a focus on helping her see birth as a normal thing. An empowering birth leads to better breastfeeding, and a more confident mother. A more confident mother leads to fewer ER visits and "is this normal" frantic nightime calls to the ped. The Con is that it doesn't support the economy as well. Lower hospital costs, and less long term care doesn't push around as many dollors.

2) Sorry, I pick Mother. I am the keeper of my childrens health, until I empower them to choose for themselves. Just because the docs said it was a good idea, doesn't relieve me of my responsibilities. Okay, if I can't pick Mother, I'll pick the internet, where I can do random research.

2a) A healthy pregnancy lays the foundation for a lifetime of health. That's one of the benefits of a midwife, she helps with eating a healthy diet, and feeling well spiritually. Prenatal Scare is a poor way to start out. When the doctors take all the power, it leaves Mom in poor shape to care for a newborn, and dependant on the professionals.

3) Legally, doctors are free to cut you against your wishes. Midwives are to be hunted for any outcome, even optitmal ones. If you planned to birth in the hospital, and the cytotec kills, it is just God's will. If you birth a genetically incompetent baby at home, they say it's your fault, it would have somehow survived in the hopsital.

4) Support homebirth. Provide care when transports present at your hospital. Most doctors in my area will not do backup care, and would rather you labored alone at home, than with a midwife.

Heather B. said...

The mother is responsible but that doesn't absolve othes who are involved of any responsibility. The problem is that as a society we don't believe it's the mother's responsibility to do anything but see a doctor and do everything he says, but if she does something other than the norm, she's responsible for any negative results. It's ridiculous.

Baby Keeper said...


thanks for your post. I agree with you.

It is so alarming to me that the highly trained surgeons who believe birth is so dangerous and yet they promote a woman to birth alone and not ask for them for help if things go wrong. It just doesn't compute.

I see obstetrics as manufacturing place of many, many life long issues. Many of our biggest killers -- diabetes, cardiac, stroke, stress, etc -- are rooted in the primal period. The baby's gestational, labor, and birth experience culmulatively create the way the person will experience and feel the world. High stress during this period establishes the foundation for how the baby will experience the world.

We need to put the funding into the prenatal support of the baby and mother --- mother's are responsible and to do so mother's need support, protection, and nurturing and to be able to receive it.

Heather --

I think our society is so distant from this -- and mother's and babies are profoundly negatively affected. We are expected to be super-women and independent to the point of dysfunction. INTER-dependence is rarely the case.

I believe as a society we are all responsible for every baby and mother. The mother is for sure responsible -- but none of us can do it alone. Sure, a woman can give birth and raise a child alone while doing amazing feats and working and paying for her home and all needs alone, but something suffers. A child can not thrive without quality time, touch, attention, acceptance. Humans are like weeds -- we are physiologically strong and will thrive in very dire situations, but a quality life requires quality care.

Obstetrics and the society need to have a heart for the baby and what a human needs --- so mother's are able to be responsible for rearing harmonious children.

Thanks for your posts.


"Soft is the heart of a child. Do not harden it."

A public awareness reminder that things that happen behind the scenes, out of our sight, aren't always as rosy as we might think them to be. Perhaps its a restaurant cook who accidentally drops your burger on the floor before placing it on the bun and serving it to you. Here it's an overworked apathetic (pathetic) nurse giving my newborn daughter her first bath. Please comment and rate this video, so as to insure that it is viewed as widely as possible, perhaps to prevent other such abuse. -- The mother who posted this YouTube. How NOT to wash a baby on YouTube Are you going to try to tell me that "babies don't remember?" There is no difference to this baby's experience and the imprinting of her nervous system/brain and one that is held and cleaned by the mother or father either at the hospital or at home? By the way, this is probably NOT the baby's first bath. The nurse is ungloved. Medical staff protocol is that they can't handle a baby ungloved until is has been bathed (scrubbed if you've seen it) because the baby is a BIO-HAZARD -- for them. Never mind that the bio-hazard IS the baby's first line of defense against hospital germs.

Missouri Senator Louden Speaks

Finally, A Birth Film for Fathers

Part One of the "The Other Side of the Glass: Finally, A Birth Film for and about Men" was released June, 2013.

Through presentation of the current research and stories of fathers, the routine use of interventions are questioned. How we protect and support the physiological need of the human newborn attachment sequence is the foundation for creating safe birth wherever birth happens.

Based on knowing that babies are sentient beings and the experience of birth is remembered in the body, mind, and soul, fathers are asked to research for themselves what is best for their partner and baby and to prepare to protect their baby.

The film is designed for midwives, doulas, and couples, particularly fathers to work with their caregivers. Doctors and nurses in the medical environment are asked to "be kind" to the laboring, birthing baby, and newborn. They are called to be accountable for doing what science has been so clear about for decades. The mother-baby relationship is core for life. Doctors and nurses and hospital caregivers and administrators are asked to create protocols that protect the mother-baby relationship.

Men are asked to join together to address the vagaries of the medical system that harm their partner, baby and self in the process of the most defining moments of their lives. Men are asked to begin to challenge the system BEFORE they even conceive babies as there is no way to be assured of being able to protect his loved ones once they are in the medical machine, the war zone, on the conveyor belt -- some of the ways that men describe their journey into fatherhood in the medicine culture.

Donors can email to get a digital copy.
Buy the film at

The film focuses on the male baby, his journey from the womb to the world and reveals healing and integrating the mother, father, and baby's wounded birth experience. The film is about the restoring of our families, society, and world through birthing loved, protected, and nurtured males (and females, of course). It's about empowering males to support the females to birth humanity safely, lovingly, and consciously.

Finally, a birth film for fathers.

What People Are Saying About the FIlm

Well, I finally had a chance to check out the trailer and .. wow! It's nice that they're acknowledging the father has more than just cursory rights (of course mom's rights are rarely acknowledged either) and it's great that they're bringing out the impact of the experience on the newborn, but I'm really impressed that they're not shying away from the political side.

They are rightly calling what happens in every American maternity unit, every day, by its rightful name - abuse. Abuse of the newborn, abuse of the parents and their rights, abuse of the supposedly sacrosanct ethical principal of patient autonomy and the medico-legal doctrine of informed consent, which has been long ago discarded in all but name. I love it!

In the immortal words of the "shrub", "bring it on!" This film needs to be shown and if I can help facilitate or promote it, let me know.

Father in Asheville, NC

OMG'ess, I just saw the trailer and am in tears. This is so needed. I watch over and over and over as fathers get swallowed in the fear of hospitals birth practice. I need a tool like this to help fathers see how very vital it is for them to protect their partner and baby. I am torn apart every time I see a father stand back and chew his knuckle while his wife is essentially assaulted or his baby is left to lie there screaming.
Please send me more info!!!!
Carrie Hankins
CD(DONA), CCCE, Aspiring Midwife

Thanks for sharing this. It was very touching to me. I thought of my brother-in-law standing on the other side of the glass when my sister had to have a C-section with her first child because the doctor was missing his golf date. I'll never forget his pacing back and forth and my realizing that he was already a father, even though he hadn't been allowed to be with his son yet.

Margaret, Columbia, MO

In case you don't find me here

Soon, I'll be back to heavy-duty editing and it will be quiet here again. I keep thinking this blog is winding down, and then it revives. It is so important to me.

I wish I'd kept a blog of my journey with this film this past 10 months. It's been amazing.

I have a new blog address for the film, and will keep a journal of simple reporting of the journey for the rest of the film.

I'll be heading east this week to meet with a group of men. I plan to post pictures and clips on the film blog.

I'll keep up here when I can -- when I learn something juicy, outrageous, or inspiring related to making birth safer for the birthing baby.

Review of the film

Most of us were born surrounded by people who had no clue about how aware and feeling we were. This trailer triggers a lot of emotions for people if they have not considered the baby's needs and were not considered as a baby. Most of us born in the US were not. The final film will include detailed and profound information about the science-based, cutting-edge therapies for healing birth trauma.

The full film will have the interviews of a wider spectrum of professionals and fathers, and will include a third birth, at home, where the caregivers do a necessary intervention, suctioning, while being conscious of the baby.

The final version will feature OBs, RNs, CNMs, LM, CPM, Doulas, childbirth educators, pre and perinatal psychologists and trauma healing therapists, physiologists, neurologists, speech therapists and lots and lots of fathers -- will hopefully be done in early 2009.

The final version will include the science needed to advocated for delayed cord clamping, and the science that shows when a baby needs to be suctioned and addresses other interventions. Experts in conscious parenting will teach how to be present with a sentient newborn in a conscious, gentle way -- especially when administering life-saving techniques.

The goal is to keep the baby in the mother's arms so that the baby gets all of his or her placental blood and to avoid unnecessary, violating, and abusive touch and interactions. When we do that, whether at home or hospital, with doctor or midwife, the birth is safe for the father. The "trick" for birthing men and women is how to make it happen in the hospital.

Birth Trauma Healing

Ani DeFranco Speaks About Her Homebirth

"Self-Evident" by Ani DeFranco

Patrick Houser at

Colin speaks out about interventions at birth